Groundhog Day

So yeah, I have a groundhog living in my basement. He dug himself a little tunnel in and set up his bachelor pad in the middle of my basement. I was pretty sure that he was living there, but had not fully investigated the situation until yesterday. I had seen him in the backyard several times and had noticed a hole at the corner of my house that the dogs sniff around a lot. I gathered up some courage yesterday and went down to the basement to check things out. I did not see him (probably a good thing cause I think that would have totally freaked me out!), but saw plenty of evidence of him.
I am not interested in being a landlord or adding a new member to the family, so I need to find a way to evict him. In my quest to rid myself of this pesky house guest, I have learned quite a bit about groundhogs.

• They are herbivores, but will eat some bugs.
• When cornered, they can be rather feisty. 
• Evidently in this area to trap them, you have to have a permit. Animal Control has provided me with the name of three men who have said permits.
• The groundhog in my basement appears to be packing on the pounds for the winter. He is quite chubby.
• Groundhogs are hard to get rid off.
• It is illegal to fire a gun in the city limits and to have a silencer for said gun.
• Several of my friends own dogs that are good at hunting and killing various animals.
• Ground hogs hibernate (hence my hurry to get rid of it as I do not want a guest for the winter).
• The gestation period for groundhogs is only 32 days.
• There is a ground hog living in Ontario named Wiarton Willie and he is 22 years old.
• Groundhogs can climb over a short fence.
• And that's what I've learned so far.

I hope to be serving an eviction notice soon. Maybe I'll get to meet someone like Billy the Exterminator during this fun little adventure. Stay tuned for updates.