You Can't Cure Stupid

That's right folks, unfortunately there's no pill or shot to fix that problem. It's really a shame too, cause if there was I could cure about 95% of the patients that I encounter in the ER. Seriously if they would let me put down Stupid or Stupid Parents as a diagnosis, it would be SO much easier. Otherwise, I have to try and come up with an actual diagnosis for their so called ailments. Now, I've always been aware that there are a fair amount of stupid people walking around out there (and scary as this may be most of them are driving too!). Goodness knows I dealt with quite a few in the 5 years I spent working at Chick-fil-a, but there seriously seems to be some force out there that actually draws them to the ER. And I'm not including the people here who do stupid things that result in injuries that land them in the ER, at least most of the time they really do need to be there. I have decided that patients should receive a shot of truth serum when they register so that by the time they get back to be seen, I can get the real story out of them. I mean, it would be great if patients would just say "hey, I'm just here cause I'm out of my pain meds and I'd really like some more", rather than coming up with bogus complaints that I have to evaluate, which wastes my time and normally lots of money. Either way I'm probably not going to give them exactly what they want, but at least it occurs a lot faster the first way. The other group of folks with so called illnesses that I wish would just tell me the real reason they are there, is the ones who just need a work note. I mean that I can provide. If they would let me leave a stack of work excuses signed at the front door, I could take care of a lot of people with out even seeing them. Now I realize what I'm proposing isn't exactly legal, but it sure would be more efficent. If only the insurance companies would go for it. A girl can still dream though!