Run Away with Me

I went running last night for the first time in about a month. It wasn't easy but it was good. I even ran without any music, which for me is a big deal. It started out as just a walk, but once I was outside, it felt so nice that it turned into a run. I am determined to conquer this thing. I know I can do it, I have before. It's just finding the motivation and time to keep at it. I joined the YMCA a month ago, and have yet to darken the doors. Partially because it's about 20 minutes away. Partially because I've been sick since the middle of July. Partially because I just haven't wanted to. So at this point I've begun refering to the money I'm paying the Y as a donation rather than a membership fee. I really like running outside better any way, it's just been too stinking hot lately and I can't handle it. I don't do heat well, or cold for that matter. A girl I work with says I'm like a snake because I can't regulate my body temperature. Running is hard for me for several reasons.

• I have bad knees. I always have. I did physical therapy in college which helped some but running on a treadmill still kills them after a few days.
• I have this annoying heart condition thing that goes haywire when my heart rate gets to high. Therefore...
• I take this medication that limits my heart rate both at rest and when exercising. That means my heart can only beat so fast when running. Which means only so much blood is getting pumped to my body. Which means there is only so much oxygen available to me when I run. This all gets a bit better as I build up endurance, but still there's a limit to what I can do.
• My thighs rub together. Enough said if you experienced it you know why this is a problem.
• I am incredibly self consious when I exercise. I'm sure people really don't pay that much attention to me, but I'm convinced they do. I hate looking stupid in front of others and I know when I'm running I don't exactly look like a world class athlete. Probably quite the opposite. People driving by are probably reaching for their cell phones wondering if they should call 911 for the girl who looks like she is about to pass out at any second. My face gets really red when I run even if it just a short distance and I'm not dying.
• I also sweat a lot. To the point that sometimes it makes my skin itch. I wonder if it's possible to be allergic to sweat. Because by all logical reasoning that means I could be allergic to exercise as sweat is the product of exercise (isn't that how all those ridiculous geometry proofs work?)
• I get bored when I run. Even when it's outside. Hence why I almost always have music with me. I have to have gum too cause I get this really funky taste in my mouth when I run and it makes me want to puke. I also have a hard time thinking about spending an hour or so just running. Not that I have a problem spending that time on the couch in front of the TV, but to spend it running seems crazy to me.

But I'm determined this time. I am going to stick with it. Fall is just around the corner, which means cooler weather is on the way. I am committed to losing weight and running will help me greatly with this goal. I really want to run the 5K this year at the CFF Great Strides walk and maybe even the Turkey Trot this Thanksgiving. So for now, I will keep on putting one foot in front of the other, because this eventually will get easier.

Walking is like Driving and Driving is like Walking

I had a lapse in judgment this weekend and went to the mall on Saturday. I normally avoid the mall like the plague on the weekend because for one the mall isn't all that great and two I normally want to kill someone within a short time of being there. I needed to fill my afternoon though, and I was really craving some Chick-fil-a for lunch, so in the midst of the monsoon, I braved the mall. Yeah, not so much a good idea. If you can have walking rage, similar to road rage, I definitely had it Saturday. I don't understand why people can't follow a few simple principles and courtesies when walking around. Such as viewing the hallways as roadways. One side goes one way, the other side goes the other way. If you are walking out from a store, you should stop and look as you merge into traffic. Not, just plow ahead and slam into whatever is in your path. You also shouldn't randomly stop in the middle of the walkway and block the area so that no one can get through. If you are walking through the food court and hit into my chair, you should probably stop and make sure you didn't do any damage. So basically walk like you would drive. Of course when driving, I realize most people can't or don't follow these simple rules in their cars, so why would they observe them when walking in public places. Still, it's just not that hard people. Wake up and pay attention.
For the record, my Chick-fil-a sandwich was fantastic as was my diet lemonade and I got a couple of cute things at Forever 21, so the outing had a few bright spots. It will be a while before I venture out the Mall weekend though, which is probably best for the safety of the teenage population of Johnson City who are the major rule breakers.

28 Years

Exactly 2 weeks ago, I turned 28 and I'm not sure I like it. I realize that there's not really anything I can do about it, but still I don't think I'm a fan of this late twenties phase of my life. Aside from a wonderful little party at work with the most wonderful cupcakes ever, and flowers from my besties, my birthday itself was pretty uneventful. I worked. I went home. I had a Happy Meal as my birthday dinner. I watched TV. I went to bed, another year older. I did celebrate that weekend with my family, so don't feel too sorry for me. I kind of feel like that what birthdays have become for me, just another reminder that I'm not getting any younger.
28 isn't that old, I get that, but when I pictured being 28 this is not how I thought it would be. I didn't think I'd spend most evening sitting at home alone. I thought there would be someone to come home to and maybe the pitter patter of little feet to greet me at the door when I got off work. And there are little feet that coming running when I get home, but it's of the 4 legged variety. I try and be happy with the life I have, because I really don't have much to complain about. I have a mostly normal family, a great job, good coworkers, a house I love, and amazing friends. And yet, none that fills the void in my life that longs for someone to share this all with. As 30 quickly approaches, I feel as though I am daily reminded that I am a single woman, and it's a status I'd gladly trade in. If you read my blog, you know I've written about this before, and while I don't want to sound like a broken record, this is my outlet to share what's on my heart and mind. This is something that weighs heavy on my heart a lot and I hope will someday soon be something I no longer have to worry about.